Very quietly last week, I launched my 5th book. I did it the same way that I had with Canvas & Imprint with no fuss. No team of people who’ve read advanced copies whose job it is to shout the release from the rooftops.
I did it this way because I need peace.
You see, up until now, I've had a difficult time getting excited about this book the way I should have. I’ve nit-picked it; From lack of half-naked couple kissing on the cover to why I’m not donating the proceeds to a charity. Did I use the word “f*ck” enough? Did the characters f*ck enough? Do readers think my characters don't f*ck at all because the quotes I pull for my advertising don’t have to do with sex? If it could be overthought, I’ve overthunk. I’ve spent the past six months second-guessing myself… Just like Daveigh.
“I don’t want her to hide behind her fear or let it get the best of her.” —Colton
There’s a part of me that comes through in each of my books whether I like it or not. Since December I’ve been trying to discern what my goals are and I’ve only come to one conclusion: I don’t want to stop writing. That’s the part that makes me happy.
Perhaps with no launch team, no scheduled blog tour and my lack of marketing there will be lackluster sales. I took the time to initiate all those wiz-bangs for my last book and do you know what? The results were identical. That was what started me on this spiral of wondering if I did enough or if I did it right—for everyone BUT me.
In the recesses of my brain, the Cavanaughs grumble when I pause them to watch the latest “how to become” webinar (when a year ago I never wanted to become anything more than self-published!) I can do better by them and for me...And by doing so, I can give you stories you'll want to read.
And then it hit me.
“You may think she’s headed back to Kingsbrier to hide, but have you ever considered that your sister needs a chance to regroup and keep fighting?” —Colette
So I put the negativity to the side, choosing to focus on things within my control. There are things I know:
I’m a good writer.
My graphics are as good as the next person’s.
There are readers who enjoy my books.
My writing goals can morph from one story to the next.
If this doesn't work, I can try again next time.
I like that last bullet, don't you? It gave me the enthusiasm I'd been lacking and initiative to keep writing.